


I Want You Here - (England x Male Transgender Reader)

by Criticalisms



Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: Bullying, Cute, Drama, Fanfiction, Fluff, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, M/M, One Shot, Romance, Song Lyrics, Temporary Amnesia, Transgender, best friend - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-22
Updated: 2016-02-22
Packaged: 2018-05-22 13:46:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,596
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6081609
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Criticalisms/pseuds/Criticalisms
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The beginning of the stories starts with the reader having slight memory loss causing them to believe that they did something wrong in their past to anger a close friend and love interest of theirs to the point where they forgotten the whole incident only leaving bits and pieces of their memories behind causing them to have dreams that ended abruptly., they couldn’t even remember their best friends name they only remembered the way he sounded and the colour of his eyes and how he smiled and his personality everything else about him was forgotten in the train wreck that is your memory. They later on realize that it wasn’t their best-friend that left them it was they who left their best friend, at the time they believed it was necessary for their friend’s happiness and their life at the time they thought it was the right decision to leave their friend, when their best friend comes back into town they at first don’t recognize him but then the pieces of the puzzle start forming together but…will they get the courage to talk to them and....remember the pieces of their life they’ve forgotten or will they run away again like they did before?</p>
            </blockquote>





	I Want You Here - (England x Male Transgender Reader)

**Author's Note:**

> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SWww880E9wU - This is the song that inspired this fanfiction of mine, I completed this long ago but I wasn't sure if anyone besides my best-friend would read this but here I am posting it online, I hope you enjoy the fanfiction and song. The song is called I Want You Here by Plumb..

[EC] = Eye Colour [HL] = Hair Length [HC] = Hair Colour [FN] = First Name [FC] = Favorite Colour MN = Male Name.

\------------------------------------------------

I Want You Here - (England x Male Transgender Reader).

\-------------------------------------------------

Your day started like any other you woke up from a peaceful dream of yours where everything was how you wanted it you slowly sat up in your bed and ruffled your {HL} {HC} hair while your gorgeous {EC} eyes scanned your room the same as always reminding you of the bittersweet reality you were in fact biologically a she although you didn’t identify as such you never have and never will again you just wanted to be happy in your body but some people in your life refused it and often at times suppressed your feelings, thoughts and emotions as well you never particularly liked your family in the first place they never listened to you and they never seemed to care about your feelings or opinion in a situation you were forced to be in. You wanted to run away from it all you could if you wanted to but you just felt trapped like there was no way out of this situation when really all you had to do was pack your bags and leave you had a job maybe it was yourself holding you back, you’ve never felt comfortable walking around as a girl you look like a girl but your just not a girl people have never understood you and always thought you were quirky even your own best friend abandoned you when you needed them most of all. You continue to live in the facade of your own ‘happiness’ you were never happy though you always felt depressed cause all you had to look forward to was going to your job and day dreaming about your much needed happiness where you actually felt happy for yourself for once where you finally felt comfortable in your body, you so dearly wished you could be like that but your life likes disappointing you a lot you have had it rough your past torture and torment was well unspeakable for you the only one you could confined in was well your best friend but they disappeared years ago and now you had no one he then finally decided to do something with your life and got dressed to go to work.

Once you arrived at work your lips formed a charming smile that was sure to make the customers feel welcomed and delighted to be shopping here your regular customers always loved coming into your flower shop the flowers you had always put a smile on their faces when they needed it the message of flowers was still popular today even but only with romantics and people who remembered the secret messages that were formed with flowers and loved the idea of it, you rather enjoyed working with flowers you always felt more comfortable with plants then actual people and people always correctly gendered you, you were thankful you changed your name a few years ago and you were glad you got a haircut a couple a days ago otherwise you might have been incorrectly gendered by some people which is a common mistake you don’t expect people to just instantly get it and some people just don’t know but they are a select few people who just refuse to be kind human beings to you and disrespect your wishes of being wanted to be called a male/man by other people but you haven’t been incorrectly gendered yet. You stand at the counter fixing the bouquets of flowers near you and around the store until a customer walked into the store as the bell chimed and the sound echoed throughout the store you smiled at the customer and walked towards them and spoke in a quiet soft yet deep charming tone of voice ‘’May I help you with anything?’’

The male looked you up and down and he had a soft smile on his face while he spoke in the most gentlemanly of fashions ‘’Yes if you don’t mind me bothering you of course, I’m trying to pick out some flowers for a friend to say I’m sorry but I can’t seem to find the right ones.’’ You nodded while the male spoke you then walked into the back and grabbed some alstroemeria’s along with some snapdragons as well as some yellow roses you then some white tulips you then put them in a bouquet and wrapped a yellow ribbon around them with a card tucked in to the ribbon and handed them to the customer with a light smile on your face ‘’If you give this to them they will get the meaning behind the bouquet of flowers in your hand, now that’ll be 20.95$ thank you.’’ The male slowly nodded as he gave you the money and took the bouquet of flowers and walked out the store with a smile on his face after a couple of hours you got changed in the bathroom and closed the shop at 5:30pm you saw the male from before outside waiting for someone you assumed it wasn’t you but then they called out your name ‘’ {FN} Wait! I wanted to say thank you…’’ you looked at the male and smiled softly as you said in your usual tone of voice like the one you used before ‘’It’s fine, it was my pleasure really no need to thank me.’’ The male nodded and smiled then waved you goodbye you would have smiled had you not been too busy day-dreaming about your best friend and just wishing you could see them again or at least talk to them one more time but they’ve made it clear they want nothing to do with you or your life even if you missed them with all your heart and loved them with all your might you didn’t know what you did but you felt ashamed of yourself for doing it in the first place you wanted to apologise but…again you can’t he wasn’t here to apologise to, if only he was here then you could make it up to him and never let him leave your side again.

An ache

so deep

that I

can hardly breathe

this pain

can’t be imagined

will it ever heal?

Ooh…Ooh...

Your heart ached you missed him dearly you wanted him here beside you he was your everything and as soon as he left, you felt abandoned by him you felt terrible you just wanted to know what you did to make him leave you was it something you said or did? You never figured it out he never came back and you never saw him again you even managed to forget what he looks like you just remember his beautiful calm green eyes that made you feel safe and warm around him his calming voice that sent you to sleep whenever you were tired or afraid of something he was there with you everything you ever did it was always with him and then out of nowhere he left and he’s never spoken to you since, whenever you think about it you end up crying and wishing you knew better than to bring him up but everything reminded you of him the smell of a fresh cup of tea in the morning and the smell of something burning always brought a smile to your face the smell of vanilla and coconut even gentlemanly behavior brought back memories of him to your mind but you could never remember his face just his British soft loving laced voice the guy before had the same green eyes and voice as him but it couldn’t be him.

He would never come back here not after what you’ve done the pain of losing him always flowed through your life and actions you did things to make him proud so he would someday see what you’ve become and give you that loving smile he always had when he looked at you when his eyes shimmered with love and admiration when he looked at you like that you could feel yourself fall for him and you found it hard to breathe which made his disappearance worse on your heart the more you thought about it the more it hurt the more you wanted to forget and heal but you could never forget him your one and only best friend and first love. He made you feel wanted, needed, appreciated for who you were and he never made you feel less or worthless, his sweetness was utter poison on your lips, maybe it was your affection for him that drew him off or the way you would talk about your problems to him but whenever you confined in him he always smiled joyfully at you maybe he was faking everything and lied to you – you then stopped yourself right there he would never do such a thing he was so kind and sweet yes he had his rough edges and he could curse like a sailor but he would never do something like that to you unless you suddenly turned into Francis but you were sure you haven’t turned into that as he would say frog.

Your hand

so small

held a strand of my hair

so strong

all I could do

was keep believing

was that enough?

You walked home as it started to spit and the clouds started to form covering the beautiful night sky and stars that shined brightly and helped calm you down when you needed it but now your mind could wonder off and reminisce about the past you always used to love to think about your best friend when you two were still friends and he would go back home for a couple of months but you two never stopped talking to each other before well you did something bad, you two met when you were just little kids he and you met when you were both only five/six years old he apparently got beaten up pretty badly back then but you were always there to heal his wounds or to comfort him when he needed it you always felt bad for him so you would spend hours on end talking to him about fairies and unicorns just to see him smile. Whenever he was really upset his small hand would clutch at a strand of your hair and if he was truly upset he would allow you to comfort him he was still a Tsundere even about you comforting him he never accepted it straight away and would come up with excuses like ‘’it’s cold so I wanted extra body heat’’ or ‘’I thought you were lonely’’ or he would say ‘’it’s not like I need comforting! I just don’t want you to feel scared’’ he never was one to be honest with his feelings towards people but with you he soon figured out that you weren’t going anywhere anytime soon so he was honest with you some would say that is an achievement but you were just glad that he even considered you a friend, you always believed in him as the more you both grew the more your affection for him grew even when you were fifth-teen you had a crush on him you never let on to it though you thought he wasn’t interested in someone like you of course back then he didn’t know about you being transgender cause you weren’t comfortable enough to tell anyone yet and even then he still believed in you as a person and as a friend he never let you give up and you did the same for him.

Even now you keep believing he is out there and happy with someone else and his life is exactly like how he wanted it to turn out that would make you more than happy to see that smile on his face again to see the hope in his eyes again when you told him you were Transgender he didn’t hate you nor did he react badly he said he knew already and he was happy you told him yourself even if he already knew he was always smart nothing escaped him except when it was about him a small smile appeared on your face by the time you got home you stopped reminiscing about the past and it was 6:39pm when you got home you saw a bouquet you made on your doorstep the cogs in your head started to turn but you were a bit oblivious to these things and maybe it was a coincidence it has happened before you brought the flowers inside and took the card out of the ribbon and saw it was addressed to you, you smiled softly as you brought them to your room and put them in a vase on your desk next to the picture of you in your childhood the one time you wore a dress you sighed to yourself as you took off your clothes and washed them for tomorrow in the laundry while you slowly took off your binder and hid it in your locked draw that only you could access you then put on [FC] some boxes and a overly large shirt and went to bed.

Is anyone there?

You woke up in the morning with tear strained eyes and a aching heart again your dreams always ended the same with your best friend saying some silent words and then you woke up maybe it was a sign that you were officially broken from the event of him leaving your life out of nowhere, he was your everything and no one can replace him a small smile tugged at your lips and then the tears fell down off your face and onto your pillow you then sat up and looked around your room as you sighed heavily and got up and got ready for work again you went down stairs and heard silence when you passed the kitchen and you raced off to the flower shop. You got inside and turned the sign around to say open it had a flower on it that blossomed the other side had a closed flower you’ve always liked the sign it was perfect for the store you owned the regular customers came in again asked for the same bouquet of flowers and walked out then the same male walked into the shop and looked around then looked at you with a tear in his eye and a soft smile on his face this time he was wearing a suit with glasses framing his face his beautiful green eyes mesmerizing you into a trace until you shook your head and looked away at the ground while your face became heated once you calmed down you looked back up to see him gone you blinked and then looked down at the register and saw a card he had left for you, you opened the card and saw a picture of you and him when you were kids he was holding your hand with a slight blush on his cheeks and a pouty face on him the cogs kept turning in your brain you wanted to believe he was back but why would he come back? Why?

I wanna scream  


Is this a dream?  


How could this happen,  


Happen to me?  


This isn't fair  


This nightmare  


This kind of torture  


I just can't bear  


I want you here  


I want you here  


Ooh...Ooh...

Why would he come back after two years just to come see you? Why didn’t he talk to you? Why didn’t he come back to see you? You wanted to scream he wasn’t here maybe you’ve finally lost your mind and you’re imagining this just to make yourself feel better about what happened and how it happened your even talking to yourself now not that is a bad thing it’s just going to make you want to scream even more, this could all be a dream and he could of never came back to see you. Why did he have to leave you? Why did he have to leave at all, why couldn’t of he called at least or even sent you mail or something just to know he was still alive and well in where ever he went to. This is a nightmare! You didn’t want this kind of torture today you didn’t want to feel bad about what happened today your love for the man all came crashing down on you like a tidal wave you felt like you were drowning you couldn’t bare it if he wasn’t actually here, you so desperately want him to be here but this could be life playing a sick twisted joke on you again when all you’ve ever wanted was to see him smile again and you finally might have he smiled at you again with those shimmering eyes of love and admiration. You finally felt loved and adored again by someone you finally saw him again but if this was a dream then it would be a sick joke the tears kept falling the sniffles and hiccups echoed throughout the store you closed the store for a personal break you went in the back and tried to calm down his name was still lost to you but his face was oh so clear to you now his punk hairstyle and the way the smell of it reminded you of the calming sea, his thick eyebrows that made you smile and laugh when someone pointed them out to him. His beautiful green eyes that reminded you of a deep vast forest that shimmered whenever in the sunlight or moonlight the way his cheeks would flush red when he was being Tsundere or when he was embarrassed or just felt happy around you, when a smiled tugged at his lips and it turned your whole day around and filled you with happiness and ease of heart it pulled at every single heart string that you had when he spoke of you in the highest of ways around people and how he would go out of his way to tell people to bug off when they kept disrespecting you.

He was a real gem in your eyes…when he left you lost your best friend, love and you lost the only person who accepted you as Transgender. He was your everything and you wanted him near you so desperately you wanted him to speak to you in that kind voice of his you wanted him to talk to you again you just wanted him to be here for you and you there for him again the tears that suddenly stopped started up again as the tears stained your cheeks and your voice began to choke it got caught in your throat this truly was something you didn’t want so you decided that after dealing with that you would close your shop earlier than intended for you, when you closed shop you walked out cursing at yourself cause you closed the shop early you didn’t want to but you needed to your emotions were a wreck because of this when he left you were a wreck your life had no joy and had no life in it for you no more joy and no matter how many times you spoke to yourself in your head to calm down you couldn’t when a friend left you it left you traumatized and broken but it wasn’t his fault for this you were always fragile especially since he was your only friend the only peace of acceptance you had in your life was him he was the only one who loved you dearly no matter if you were transgender or not he loved you the way you were for who you were it was magically whenever you spent time with him he was your one and only shred of evidence to say that people cared about you and then he left and you started to not care anymore and you let others rule you but you decided to take back life when you realized you were unhappy and you needed to change it.

I waited so long  


for you to come  


then you were here  


and now you're gone  


I was not prepared  


for you to leave me  


oh this is misery

When you got home you saw another bouquet of flowers roses red ones of course you knew who it was from that male you rather not speak of him it would just bring you more tears and heart ache mainly because you missed him so much and he left and he deserved so much better than you he gave you his love then he left all of sudden and then you broke down like the person you were you broke down you kept asking questions that had no answers because he wasn’t there to answer them, whenever you would think about him his face never came into your mind just his voice and that sweet smile that he gave you when he was near you and when he held your hand so gently as if he believed he would break you he always treated you like a glass doll you were stronger than that now well you hoped you were anyway but you could tell when it came to him your emotions got out of hand you were never calm or quiet because what you felt for him was a force that made your mind fuzzy and blurry your eyes always watered when you forgot his face but never his voice the smell of roses and violets made you smile and remember when he left you. You’ve waited so long for him to come back but why did he choose to come back now at this time of year? Why did he leave in the first place your then reminisced about the past and how he left you it was a sunny dewy morning when rain came falling down from the clouds above but the sky was a clear blue behind it all and the smell of rain always calmed you down but now it just sent back painful memories to your head you were walking to school with him he was next to you trying to grab your hand out of habit he always liked holding your hand he was calmer when he did hold your hand cause your soft skin soothed him well that’s what he said to you and the smell of them reminded him of happy memories and so you kept using that soap for him just to see that sweet smile on his face again, after you went to class people would tease you and make fun of you then they did the unforgivable and made fun of him your best friend you always told them to back off of him and never tell him anything like that he didn’t deserve it just because he was your friend and yet they continued with their hurtful words

‘’Freak your both freaks, Arthur was attractive at first but as soon as he got with this freak the smell of him was rotten’’ whenever they brought him into the conversation you backed them off he was not their target and he never was when lunch came around you decided to have a talk with him about him being your friend you thought it was best for him to no longer be your best-friend you didn’t want him to be hurt but you were too late he was getting beaten up by the popular kids because of you, you got them off of him and told them to leave him alone cause he isn’t your friend he was just playing a prank on you and was only hanging around you to make you cry and so tears stained your cheeks and the gloss in your eyes left as you looked at him and yelled at him lying of course they looked at Arthur for a split second then directed their attention to you and dragged you off and started to beat you up behind the school of course Arthur just sat there and tried to get up but he was too weak you were sent to hospital for a week and when you came back to school Arthur was student council president he was popular and he seemed happy but behind those ‘happy’ smiles he was depressed and sad because you protected him and made sure his life was happy over your own and during lunch he came to talk to you he dragged you behind the school and looked you in your sorrow filled {EC} eyes and said in his usual kind soft British laced voice ‘’{MN} why did you do that for me? I want to be your best friend; I don’t want to be a popular kid! These people don’t care about me like you do, you are too nice why can’t you for once let other people decide for themselves!’’ you looked at him and smiled softly at him as tears ran down your face and you made sure to hide your arms behind your back while you looked at him and said in your sorrow filled laced voice ‘’I don’t want you to be hurt because of me, I don’t want you to go to hospital because of me! I don’t want people beating you up and hurting you just because you’re my best friend, I swore to myself that I wouldn’t hurt you and because of me you are getting hurt. I care too much about you to allow yourself to let that happen to you again, I’m only going to say this once and never repeat myself. I love you…Arthur…I want you to be happy and live a life full of joy and happiness without me, I don’t want you to be hurt so please refrain from talking to me! Goodbye, Arthur.’’

You left him standing there but after walking away he ran after you and caught your wrist and looked at you in your eyes and got up close to you as he looked at you and said ‘’You…can’t…be…serious! I...love you too {MN} please let me be with you!’’ you looked at him and shook your head and slowly slipped out of his grip and ran away with tears flowing out your eyes as your voice choked out a ‘’I’m so sorry Arthur, I love you I always will’’ you decided to leave the school and move to a different area so he would never be able to find you but despite yourself you missed him more than anything you missed his laugh and smile but it was your fault you had to leave him he deserved so much better than you, your existence was sub-zero next to his he was intelligent and handsome why would he want to go out with a guy like you he loved you he told you himself but you refused to remember those words and instead remember words of hatred leaving people’s mouths besides his of course he was always the kindest to you because well he loved you but again despite yourself you refused to believe it or him. You even changed your number and email address and you erased everything he knew about you from him you felt guilty but you were doing it for his own good you would never forgive yourself if someone hospitalized him you would go into a fit of rage if anyone even tried to hurt him but you were so weak that all you could do would be shouting at them, that you love this man and he had nothing to do with their issues they had with you like that would ever work in your favor no one took you seriously and no one respected you and whoever was your friend no one respected them or listened to them so you never made friends and you refused to socialize with anyone or anything besides plants of course.

After years of missing him and still holding him near and dear to your heart your heart began to ache and wish for him to be here with you but you never gained the courage to talk to him again and then he suddenly showed up here out of nowhere and now he was sending you bouquets of flowers you made and you knew the messages behind them you should have been the one apologising to him not him to you he never did anything wrong you were the one that refused to listen to him or his wishes you felt so selfish and guilty for leaving him but it was for his own good and you couldn’t have others harm him because of you ever again so you ran away as fast as you could from him, he has always be smart though he did excel in almost every class besides cooking and you usually helped him in that department and he slowly but gradually got better at it that he even rivaled Francis’s cooking to his shook and amazement Arthur wouldn’t stop shoving that piece of information in the as he would say frogs face every day you were glad he was so proud of himself it made him smile which in turn made you smile you always smiled when he was around but now you’ve become emotional but emotionless at the same time you just wanted to say sorry to him but you were a coward and you will always be a coward. After reminiscing about memories you finally remember what actually happened you had left him not him leaving you, you knew inside yourself that he would never do such a thing like that but had forgotten everything about that day you had no idea why you had forgotten something like that. Maybe it’s because after that whole incident with him people continued to beat you up and after a group decided to beat you up you had to go to hospital you ended up hitting your head and having slight amnesia due to the traumatic experience you had to deal with, you had forgotten almost everything about your best friend and besides that you had one and remembering him whispering something to you then vanishing after all these years of not knowing you finally knew that it was you that left him and not him that left you.

Are you still there?

You wanted to call him you knew he still had the same number he had from back then he liked keeping old things he was that kind of person, you wanted to hear his voice and to tell him your sorry but again you were a coward and you always believed it was for his own good but he never thought that he thought it was because you cared for him and loved him so deeply that you did that it wasn’t fair on him but you did it anyway you knew you were being selfish but you had to be you would of cried your heart out if Arthur ended up beaten or worse dead because of you, you would of blamed yourself and then the bullies and then you would of finally blamed the world and you would of done the unthinkable he would of never forgave you if you decided to contemplate suicide but he always used to forgive you when you used to self harm but he helped you stop he was there for you when you needed it and helped you he was just there and he loved you for everything you were and everything you will be in the future. You then realized something you remember his name now…Arthur Kirkland…he was your best friend and love of your life, you softly smiled to yourself as you kept saying his name over and over again in your head just so then you wouldn’t forget it ever again.

I wanna scream  


Is this a dream?  


How could this happen,  


Happen to me?  


This isn't fair  


this nightmare  


this kind of torture  


I just can't bare  


me want you here  


I want you here  


Ooh... ooh...

You wanted to scream at yourself for being so stupid and de-friending Arthur why would you de-friend your crush and your one true love in this world but again you just wanted to help him and that’s what friends did they did everything for each other and you would sacrifice your own happiness for that sake of his no matter the cost every single time you would take a bullet for him you would do anything for Arthur because of how much you loved and adored him for simply who he was he was, Arthur the man who made you smile in the cold nights of winter the one that warmed you up with delicious hot chocolate and marshmallows he was the one that made you feel butterflies in your stomach from him just laughing at one of your corny sickening jokes that you told just to see him snicker and laugh and to see tears of laughter burst out of his eyes whenever he tried to stifle his laughter. He was the one that made every rainy day sunny and feel like a piece of heaven had fallen onto earth he was the one that made you smile at a simple glace or stare or raise of an eyebrow he made every single one of your flaws feel like a perfection or piece of artwork on a canvas he made you feel unique and special for just being able to get him to smile when he was angry or frowning when he was frustrated at Francis or Antonio or stop him from glaring at Alfred when he made a joke about his eyebrows, he made you feel as if you were everything you needed to be and wanted to be in every moment he was with you and not with you cause even with him gone you could still feel him near and close by the smell of his tea would wipe off on you and your jumper would begin to smell of him cause of how much time you spent with this man.

When you walked away from him you doubted your actions and behavior you wanted to run back you should of run back to his arms and kissed his cheek just once and then you should of ran off you should of stolen his pen or anything small he wouldn’t miss just to know that you even met him in your life to not make you feel like it was all just a sickening dream that your head made up for you to feel happy for once in your life a nightmare that never ended was a question of whether or not it even happened at all your head played tricks with you and liked to make you think everything was going to be alright like everything would fix itself and magically be better by the time it was tomorrow but no it stuck with you his smell the faint smile on his face it stuck with you throughout your life it stuck with you like a never ending torture that you just couldn’t bare anymore and you just wanted proof of him existing not flowers that wilted and died within a week not a photograph that got stained and covered in tears that dripped off your cheek but him by your side like you knew it was meant to be, like how it was before everything just stopped and happened so quickly because of you because of what you did you stained the relationship you had with him and now it was up to you to gain the courage to walk up to him and follow your happiness which was him it was always him.

God help me,  


God help me,  


God help me  


Breathe

So you finally decided that you have waited enough you’ve waited enough time for him to show up and you were not going to let him get away so easily you wanted to talk to him and you were not going to let him leave so soon either you were not going to have him leave again in your life you were never going to have him leave again you were going to apologise to him for what you did back in the past and explain yourself you were going to hold his hand and tell him you still loved him if only you could build up the courage to call him if only you could build up the courage to speak to him so you decided you would speak to him if he visited the flower shop again you weren’t going to let him up and leave like you did to him although that would be fair for him to do but you wouldn’t be able to stand that again you might even follow him to the airport calling his name and crying out that you loved him and all you wanted to do back then was kiss him and embrace him but you just felt as if that was the right thing to do back then! You were going to prepare yourself to fight for him and you were not going to lose him you were never going to lose him again but then the most horrible of thoughts came into your mind what if he had a girlfriend or wife? What if he didn’t love you anymore what if he wanted to just tell you he was sorry for anything he did and he loved you as a friend the thoughts in your head filled your brain with worry and thoughts of stupidity and regretting your actions in the past thoughts of wishing you never left him in the first place thoughts of wishing you contacted him sooner before it was too late for you to express your love to him you didn’t want him to leave you but…you were used to the misery by now and you would let fate decide if you truly deserved to win this fight for love and happiness you secretly always wanted you just needed to take deep breathes and not over think anything too much like you always did whenever you needed to do something important.

I wanna scream

Is this dream?

How could this happen,

Happen to me?

This isn’t fair

This nightmare

This kind of torture

I just can’t bare

I want you here

I want you here

Oooh…Oooh...

You got up the next morning suddenly full of life and happiness you were going to sort out everything you wanted to sort out since you left him standing there at school since you left him your first and only love in your life the only one who brought you happiness through it all and now you were going to build up your courage and talk to him and tell him how you really felt and how much you wanted for him to just smile at you and enjoy your company like back in the old days but with slightly more kissing and affection well that’s what you hoped for but hope can be a lost cause in most certain situations you just hoped this wasn’t one of those situations, you wanted to be happy with him by your side always and forever you always wanted him to be by your side you just needed to leave him or he would of ended up dead or in hospital you just wanted him to be safe and sound and not beaten up for just wanting to be your best friend you loved him and he used to love you his affection was one of the best feelings you ever had for you it was like you were floating when he told you he loved you but you couldn’t let that get in the way of his life and health so you decided to run away and leave him you had to well in your mind you had to but in his it was probably a different story.

Once you got to the flower shop you owned you unlocked it and opened the doors and opened for business and you prayed he would come to visit you today and if he didn’t then you would hunt him down and then talk to him whenever you did find him when you turned the sign around to say open you had a real smile on your face for once and you greeted your customers gladly and warmly and when he arrived it was late at night and it was way over closing time for you and when he entered the store he smiled at you and tears began to stream down his cheeks and soak his scarf that was wrapped around his neck a scarf you made for him for his birthday it was still in perfect condition of course knowing him and his neat ways it wouldn’t be anything less, you walked over to him tears welling up in your {EC} eyes and you stifled a choke and a cough of the lungs just to remain calm your hands were shaking madly and all you wanted to do was jump into his arms and strangely enough he walked closer towards you and embraced you tightly his arms were stronger than before he was sobbing he literally broke down into a mess you rubbed his back gently and calmly and when his tears dried up he looked at you with those beautiful green eyes of his still filled with love and adoration for you and everything about you and before you could even let out a single word he spoke in his usual soft but choked out British laced voice

‘’{MN} Never, I repeat never leave me again you hear me! No matter what I did I couldn’t forget you no matter the situation the people. I could never forget your smile the way you said I love you to me, why did you have to leave me standing there?! I could have come with you, you know! I feel like yelling at you right now but…I just can’t stay mad at you for even one second I love you too much’’ you looked at him and began crying your {EC} eyes out and all you could do was take stuttered breathes when you tried to speak to him all you did was hiccup and breathe in a hitch of breathe that filled your lungs with the guilt you had over what you did and when you finally calmed down all you said was ‘’I’m sorry Arthur, I am but…I thought it was for the best you would of ended up in hospital because of me or worse you would of ended up dead. I would never wish that of you and I could never let that happen to you so I decided to leave, I did it because I loved you and still love you so much I would do anything for you to see you alright and smile and laugh like you used to and see those eyes filled with love for me like they are now. I could never see you hurt or harmed because of me it would of ached my heart even more than it did leaving you Arthur, I just wanted you to be safe from harm…that’s all..’’ He looked at you shocked for a minute then a smile appeared on his face and a look of love spread on his face as a blush flushed onto his cheeks and his eyes were shimmering with tears and love for you at the same time he slowly and gently ran his fingers through your {HL} {HC} hair as he smiled and slowly kissed your forehead and then slowly lowered his lips to your lips and kissed you ever so gently as both of his and your tears flowed down both his and your faces while your face flushed a crimson red and once the kiss was broken you looked at him with eyes full of happiness as you spoke in a hushed tone of voice ‘’I love you Artie.’’ He chose to reply with ‘’Don’t call me that! I love you too… {MN}’’

An ache

So deep

That I

Can hardly breathe

After hushed words and distant memories they both decided to live together and start dating after a couple of weeks of getting back on track of course with their lives together but after much needed TLC and morning kisses and words of adoration and declaration of love they decided after years of waiting it was time to deepen their bond well Arthur thought it was time to deepen their bond and relationship after two years of dating he finally proposed and of course you said yes I mean hey you waited this long why wait any longer? You would have been crazy to say no to him! And you finally had your much wanted happy ending with Arthur and you finally felt loved and appreciated and that’s all you ever needed was him beside you, you couldn’t ask for anything better.


End file.
